Hey yall ... im at work ... in a training class ... bored OUTTA MY MIND ... just thought id say im still alive ... UNFORTUNATELY !!... LOVE YA ... Sara

Hey guys ... whats up ?... nothing much here ... jus working and getting ready ta move out ... YAY !!... so i have less then a month before i move into my apartment ... i gotta admit im kinda scared & nervous but excited at the same time ... i really cant wait ... UMMMM ... havent really done anything worth writing about ... ohhh yeah ... i did go up ta Indiana ... had ta take my grandma & her FIVE cars back up there ... jus dont ask ... i went ta visit my dad for a few hours because we were turing around & heading back home in a few hours ... i did get ta see my dad, my brother, Taylor, & one of my MANY sisters, Gabrielle ... sucks i didnt get ta see my other sisters or my stepmom ... i guess i will next time ... whenever that will be ... now that i have bills of my own ta pay ... well ive always had my own bills ... not rent and KUB though ... anywho ... who reads this thing ?... i honestly dont think anyone does ... but ill keep writing in it ... i use it to jus rant & rave anyways ... the bar's been fun ... works ... EHHH ... well work ... lol ... & my car is making a WEIRD noise & i jus dont have time ta take it anywhere to have any one look at it ... & god knows none of friends can look at it ... considering they are gay & now nothing about cars ... ohhh yeah ... i did meet ... what i thought was a straight boy ... not too sure anymore ... but of course ... as ALWAYS ... i F***ed it up ... we took him & his friend ... Tony ... ta the bar with us & Tyler started asking Tony all these weird ?'s & saying weird things about how he thought he may be gay ... so needless to say ... we dont really talk anymore ... besides that he wanted ta make out & stuff at the bar & i jus couldnt do that ... not only were we in a public place ... but someone else was there whom i still have feelings for & i couldnt make out with him with them watching me ... u know ?... i felt bad because i knew deep down i really wanted ta be making out with the other person ... i dont know why ... i have three guys & a girl after me ... but all i can think about is the one person that doesnt want me anymore ... guess u always want what u cant have right ?... ohhh well ... im working on them as we speak & if i have MY way ... well im not even gonna go there ... but it'll all work out in my favor ... HOPEFULLY ... well ... imma go & finish my laundry ... ill be back though ... MUAH !!... Love ALWAYS ... Sara !!

Everybody knows
that I was such a fool
to ever let go of you
and baby I was wrong
and yeah I know I said
we'd be better off alone
it was time that we moved on 
i know I broke your heart 
i didn't mean to break your heart

but baby here I am
bangin' on your front door
my pride spilled on the floor
my hands and knees are bruised
and I'm crawlin' back to you
beggin' for a second chance
are you gonna let me in?
I was runnin' from the truth
and now I'm crawlin' back to you 

I know you're in there
and you can make me wait
but I'm not gonna wait
it's the least that I could do
just to tell you face to face 
i was lyin' to myself
now I'm dyin' in this hell
girl I know you're mad
well I can't blame you for bein' mad 

but baby here I am
bangin' on your front door
my pride spilled on the floor
my hands and knees are bruised
and I'm crawlin' back to you
beggin' for a second chance
are you gonna let me in? 
i was runnin' from the truth
and now I'm crawlin' back to you

if you could see these tears I'm cryin'
touch these hands that can't stop shakin'
hear my heart that's barely beatin'
you would see a different man 

but baby here I am
bangin' on your front door
my pride spilled on the floor
my hands and knees are bruised 

and I'm crawlin' back to you
beggin' for a second chance
are you gonna let me in? 
i was runnin' from the truth
now I'm crawlin' back to you
bangin' on your front door
my pride spilled on the floor
i was runnin' from the truth
now I'm crawlin' back to you

hi guyz ... i have ALOT on my mind ... so i decided ta come down & write ... it seems that i write better when i have alot of real indepth things ta say ... atleast i think i do ... but anywho ... MOVING ON ... im gonna write about relationships ... in relationships ... both the gay and straight world ... everybody knows ... no matter who u are ... that relationships have their ups and their downs right? ... u jus gotta take the good with the bad ... & when things get rough ... u jus gotta let time work things out ... relationships can't be built on sex or materialistic things ... there has to be communication & a good friendship built with honesty & truth ... & u have ta remember ... if was meant to be ... it'll happen ... no matter what ... despite the people that try ta end it ... the people that are jealous ... or anything or anyone else that tries ta get inbetween u ... as long as the relationship & the two people in the relationship are strong ... in the end ... it'll all work out for the best ... & sometimes that doesn't mean u end up together ... but like i said ... in the end it all works out FOR THE BEST ... relationships can be SOOO hard & confusing sometimes ... is it really worth all this? ... but let's REALLY think about it for a second ... having someone ta call before u go ta bed ... jus ta say goodnight ... or having someone call u jus ta tell u goodnight ... jus because they wanna hear ur voice ... or waiting for ur phone ta ring & hoping it'll be them ... jus so u can hear their voice one more time before u go ta sleep ... jus ta have someone ta cuddle with & kiss whenever u want to ... someone ta call yours ... someone that loves u for who u are ... no matter what other people may think of u ... it really is all worth it ... NOW ... have u ever loved somebody so much that the ONLY thing that keeps u going throughout the day is knowing that they're gonna call u when they get off work ... & ... have u ever had feelings for someone & u know u shouldn't have those feelings ... but for some reason u do ... & u can't help it ... u love them & u know u do ... it's not like u can jus turn ur feelings off ... i don't care what ANYBODY says ... u jus can't do that ... & have u ever been SOOO confused & have no one ta talk to about it because the only person that understands all this jus happens ta be the one thats going through it with u ... which makes things very awkward ... have u ever cried so much over someone ... not because they hurt u ... but simply because u love them so much that it hurts everytime they have ta leave ... that u CAN'T cry anymore ... & have u ever had feelings for someone & u KNOW they have feelings for u ... but for some reason they don't wanna be with u ... or they say they can't ... i know it doesn't make very much sense & i can't explain it ... & have u ever felt ur heart jus break in half after they tell u that they love u ... but right before u turn around in the same conversation jus ta hear them say they want something new ... have u ever had someone tell that u treated them the best they have ever been treated ... then a few days later .. they decide they want something else ... have u ever been in a relationship & not said how u really felt about them ... or didn't jus do something when u had the chance ta show that person how much u really do care & love them ... i guess i love you jus isnt really enough sometimes ... guess i had ta learn the hard way ... but it's ok ... & i'm sorry ... u know who u are ...  i'm jus sorry & if ur reading this now ... i love u sooo much & i'm sorry things didn't work out ... ur still one of my best friends in the whole world ... ur such a great person & i love hanging out with u ... ur jus soo great ... & i want u ta know that i love u with all my heart & i'm jus sorry !!... i don't want anything ta change now though ... i still want us ta be able ta hang out like we used to ... we're too good of friends ta let this ruin it ... however ... i understand if u don't want to ... no really i don't ... but i'll learn ta live with it ... guess i wouldn't really have a choice now would i? ... but i jus want u ta know that i want u ta be happy & if this is what truly makes u happy then i have to accept it & respect ur decision ... after all i am an adult right ... HA HA !!... sorry ... not a time for jokes ... had ta lighten the mood though ... back on topic now ... i do honestly have ta say ... i think there's more ta this story then what im being told ... i think ur scared of something ... or someone ... i dunno what ... OR who ... but it's something else ... u can tell me ... i'm here for u ... whatever ur feeling ... whatever ur thinking ... u can tell me ... i'll listen ... i'd hate for u ta make a decision because of what someone else might say or think ... but whatever ... i guess u'll call when u wanna talk ... if not ... ohhh well ... u missed out not me ... i also wanna thank Joe & Matt through all this DRAMA ... u two were there for me ... thank u guys ... that means SOOO much ta me ... i love ya ... well ... i think im done for the night ... any questions jus leave a comment ... leave a message on the tagboard ... need anything explained jus give me a call ... i'm ALWAYS up ... all hours of the night actually ... MUAH !!... thanks for reading about all my drama !!... Love ya ... Sara !!            

i know this is alil late but i jus wanted ta say ...

Congratulations to Hope St. Claire ... Most Beautiful & 1st Runner Up ... at the Miss Rainbow Club West Pagent !!...

Hope ... u did and looked FABULOUS & SOOO beautiful ... OHHH ... & ur talent was HOTT !!... Congratulations !!... Love ya !!... Your Prez !!... Sara !!